A couple years ago, late at night, I was mindlessly scrolling through DeviantART without realizing that in just a few minutes, I would discover something not just good, not just great, not just amazing, not even 'perfect', but something so good that it feels like it shouldn't even possible to imagine in waking reality let alone have it actually exist. Something beyond perfection, transcendental. Almost like a divine gift that could not be crafted by human hands.
This also started about a week earlier (the fateful day was the night of March 9, 2024). I had been doing that was becoming something of a habit for me. Which was to go to deviantart and keep clicking on art that interested me in the sidebar section that's supposed show similar art, and keep doing this recursively until I had accumulated a ton of tabs. I would then go back and download all of the art. I had done this on March 3rd, and I was now doing it again on March 9th.
Suddenly, I caught something very peculiar in the corner of my eye. Even though it was just a thumbnail, my eyes became immediately fixated upon it. Not just that, but it almost felt like my visual perception had been changed in that small spot in some way. Almost like I was seeing new patterns and textures that you shouldn't be able to see, and at a much higher intensity than I previously thought imaginable. The closest analogy I can think of to describe it is image looking something beautiful shining in the light with a lot of caustic and refractive shimmers (like glass or ice) and then just imagine turning the sharpness up and up to unimaginably high levels, but without it bleeding out. Imagine doing this to such an insane degree that you begin to perceive new colors and textures. Additionally it felt almost like time had stopped, and that something very monumental had just happened. Just a moment before I was carefree, now I was suddenly intense.
I clicked on the image (for reference, it was this image https://www.deviantart.com/avchonline/art/Octavia-the-world-of-my-own-777725763), and I suddenly felt a very perplexing feeling. Very timeless, innocent, and nostalgic. But also very 'atmospheric', something about I started to feeling in this very surrounding and close way.
I noted the name of the artist, 'AVCHonline'. I then searched his name only to discover a plethora of related artwork. The art piece I had seen was just one of a miniseries, which itself was a precursor to his main series, 'Canterlot Royal Ballet Academy'. I searched this and felt yet another feeling, however this feeling was much less sensational and much more just confusional, almost laughter. Here I had discovered something utterly bizarre: A massive series, spanning hundreds of artworks, all consisting of anthropomorphic ponies dressed in tutus, and in incredibly intricate and striking detail. The amount of details (and the presumable amount of effort involved just as much) amazed me, and I wondered why someone would dedicate so much time to something so strange.
Within half an hour though, I would not only no exactly why, but I would feel at such a deep level that almost felt like my life mission. Soon, this feeling of confusion faded into a feeling of utter amazement, bliss, and serenity. I would begin to feel similarly feelings as the first artwork, but much more vivid and rich. I felt as if nothing else in the world mattered, everything else had completely vanished from my thoughts. Even the thought of this happening had vanished. I also began to experience an intense supernatural feeling, most closely resembling what you may know as a smell. The closest smell I can describe is like some kind of perfume. But it was not just a smell - it was all encompassing. It felt like rather than breathing it, I was flowing through some gigantic ethereal wind that was passing through my body. It could feel it in my chest, nostrils, and as a slight sensation all over my body. It felt like even when I was breathing out, I was breathing out this ethereal substance instead of breathing out air.
For reference, I have never experienced anything coming close to synesthesia in my life. And the only thing that has triggered this feeling is CRBA, and it wasn't just once - to this day, I can still get this feeling sometimes, though to much less of a degree, by looking at CRBA.
I also soon discovered a sub-series of CRBA, 'AcademyLIVE'. AcademyLIVE was themed as a hybrid of an anime of CRBA and of a fictional TV network that would report on the academy, both broadcast by PonyStarTV. I became completely enamored, I was willing to sacrifice anything for this to have been a real thing. I also began to cling immensely to the name 'AVCHonline'. I would repeat it constantly in my head.
I think part of the reason why was that I felt almost like I was in a dream. I have long had a specific kind of dream, where there is something unimaginably (in the literal sense) special in the dream. I feel like I must protect it at all costs. The special characteristic of these things are that they are unimaginable, the kind of that can't even exist in your imagination in waking reality, something special. And they alter your psyche in very special and also unimaginable ways. Sometimes in these dreams, I even become self-conscious of this fact and desperately try to somehow export or move it out of my dream and into real-life. I usually wake up right after this, and then I can't remember the special object. Not because I have forgotten, I can often remember the rest of the dream in perfect detail, but because it literally cannot exist when you are awake.
(continued)