>>4307 (OP)
It's a common point of confusion; there's a few notes on it over in out terminology thread at >>1000 which I'll quote here:
>>What's all this "compersive" and "humiliation" I keep seeing mentioned?
Compersion is joy in another's pleasure. You already know what humiliation means. Compersive cuckqueans do not feel humiliated by their men fucking other women and get their kick out of the joy they feel while he does it. Humiliation-driven cuckqueans feel humiliated by their men fucking other women and get their kick out of this humiliation. The two tend not to understand each other very well, and humiliation-driven cuckqueans tend to ignore the existence of their compersive cousins.
It isn't a hard-and-fast distinction—some cuckqueans take elements of both, and you'll find discussion on this scattered all around /cuckquean/, such as this one from >>3467 that was both shitposting and answering a larger question:
>>Both compersive and humiliation content are still cuckquean after all, and for me at least those two evoke VERY different feelings.
>Perhaps that's why there was a small war over the term in the early 2010s. From our old terminology thread:
>>The humiliation/compersion thing was actually the subject of a kind of holy war within the community some years ago.
>>When Jenn Coney (or some name like that) first started her blog around 2009-2010 and proclaimed herself the template cuckquean, severe humiliation, degradation and a stripping away of choice were a mandatory part of the term. The community was made up mainly of her followers and fans. Many had had their partners cheat on them and then post-rationalised it as something they wanted. There was a lot of competition to find even deeper levels of degradation or humiliation, the idea being that if you didn't you weren't a good cuckquean.
>>When a group of cuckqueans emerged and said "actually we're not so much into playing the helpless victim", some nasty scrapping ensured. The original group accused the new group of not being cuckqueans because they weren't deprived of choice and the new group accused the original group of not being cuckqueans because they were really just being abused.
>>Eventually that all settled down when Jenn Coney disappeared from the Internet and common ground was found, but the "cuckquean = humiliation" mark has been left on the fetish's perception ever since.
>This conflict bubbles back up from time to time in attempts to use terms like "hothusbanding" for compersive cuckqueaning, from the term used by male cuckolds who don't think they're being humiliated by having their wives sleep with other men ("hotwifing"), but this never catches on.
>I think these splits in terminology happen because we intuitively recognize that humiliation cuckqueaning, compersive cuckqueaning, and lesbian cuckolding are different in kind. Humiliation cuckqueaning and compersive cuckqueaning are slightly different in kind, but not so much that they don't want to share a term. (Which, let's face it, is a really really good term: Cuckquean. Feels great in the mouth.) Plus, they also tend to blend: Many cuckqueans of one type will borrow a couple of elements from the other type.
I personally am very strongly compersive and do not experience nor desire humiliation: I really, really like it when my boyfriend fucks. Turns my insides all happy and melty. I don't so much like the idea of being compared to other girls as I love the idea that they're different from me. No matter how good I might be, I can't be different to me... I trust this makes sense. (It's also one of the reasons I like kemonomimi and monster girls, aside from them being super-cute.) I completely understand and respect humiliation-driven girls, though, of which this board has a few. I think if a vixen who had got the wrong idea tried to "help" by talking down to me my first instinct would be to try to find a way to let them know they didn't need to without embarrassing them too badly.
>Often I remove myself somewhat from the situation
Like you, I do not have to be directly included in things to enjoy myself—though I do enjoy being able to watch in person—but I can't be ignored; I need to know my BF's thinking of me too, and that he's looking forward to coming home to me where I can meet him at the door and sniff him like a madwoman. Once he had a vixen leave a lipstick mark on his cock for me to find; that nearly melted me into a puddle.
>I merely want cute guys I like to fuck other women regardless of if I'm acknowledged or included.
Another quean has posted with a similar fetish signature to yours, but I don't know if she's still around. Perhaps she'll be able to provide more on how she feels if she is.
Oh, and welcome!