>>9082
Sorry for biting your head off, then. It does throw into relief what the other anon pointed out, though - I read the post less than charitably because it was loaded with red flags. It’s those red flags that point the way to your answer, which is that it sounds like this “major fetish” was not discovered or deciphered but fed, watered, and grown. Its roots have therefore worked their way into you and continue to draw the energy and focus you’ve habituated them to, even though you now realise they may well end up hurting the women you love.
The good news is that just as it was grown, so too can it be pruned. It’s your mind and sexuality in which it resides, so it’s you who determines the terms under which it does so. You mention “mindblocking”, but I advise the opposite because you can control your attention and focus. Think carefully and thoroughly about it, through it, and then watch it carefully to discover the parts of yourself to which it has attached. Label and put aside intrusive thoughts. Lay off coming here to starve it of material, so that you can glimpse its shapes clearly.
Once you do this, and get past its reflexive starvation responses, you can begin to notice how it was affecting the way you saw things, and how that influenced how you thought and felt. Then, armed with what you have learned, it will be easier for you to decide to feel a different way, instead, when you want to.
I