/yohoho/ - Piracy

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[Parley with yer hearties]


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Confess yer wrongdoings, open yer hearts, and speak the truth of yer misdeeds ye scallywags!
Replies: >>277 >>312 >>555
>>233 (OP) 
confessing that this is an amazing picmix and it made my day kek
I have such a female default that every video game character whos wearing a mask or completely covered up I assume is female. I don’t play a lot of video games that being said so I get surprised very often when my friends tell me that the character is a man.
Replies: >>294
I leave work early all of the time and no one can stop me because no one else is here this late, so I can just leave. Even if someone should happen to report me, the report would just go back to me. I feel vindicated in all the wage theft shitty hourly jobs have done to me by returning the favor thusly.

>>289
Based.
I have been enjoying my NEET life and I'm grateful that I can afford it. I'm actually pissed that I got an interview but I can't really turn it down because the role seems pretty good I'm afraid I'll never get something as good as this again
Replies: >>303 >>308
>>298
relatable nona
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nonnies i am becoming more and more jaded about lc by the day, i love the actual userbase, but the jannies are pissing me off so much
Replies: >>308 >>311
>>298
today I wagie, tomorrow I wagie, forever I wagie. I don't know how else to live life now
( ̄へ ̄、)
>>306
it's frustrating because I feel like lc would be so much better if the jannies weren't so awful
Replies: >>313
>>306
same, the ragebait and jannies taking too long to do anything about it or banning people replying to it instead pisses me off, not to mention the valid scrotefoils and troonfoils getting banned. 
I'm still not forgetting the dumbass snarky redtexts nonnies got as well, lolcow isn't twitter, you don't need to ratio the nonnas with redtexts.
>>233 (OP) 
I sometimes make fake scenarios or twist the truth so hard it's borderline fictional in lolcow just to see what nonnies have to say about it.
>>308
life suxx, nonnie
i feel like such a shit person whenever i get annoyed with autistic people. i of all people should be the most sympathetic and understanding towards them since i grew up with a mega autistic brother, but aside from him i always get so impatient and annoyed with autistic people. high functioning, low functioning. they all piss me off in some way no matter how much my mind tells me that it isn't their fault and all the obnoxious shit they're doing isn't on purpose. 
this is also why i have so much respect for people who work with autistic children as aids or teachers. i wouldn't be able to last a day in their job before i lost my shit kek
Replies: >>585
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i am admittedly a lazy retard stoner at the moment. i feel fine but i know it's going to be a weird transitional phase once i'm back at uni and forced to socialise everyday again. i'm good at it, dont get me wrong, but i prefer being a hermit right now
I only played fallout new vegas because of a femdom fic.
Replies: >>410
>>408
Link?
>>233 (OP) 
sometimes i find myself googling the answers to a question a nonnie is asking and pretend that Im knowledgeable in the technique, and honestly its probably better to just stay quiet and let someone who actually knows what theyre talking about respond but I get a little sad when I see a nona ask a question and it gets ignored and bumped away
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>>374
I can completely understand nona, you're not a shit person for it. I'm a high functioning sperg who can mask relatively well with an extremely low functioning brother and even I can be annoyed by other autistic people and want nothing to do with them. Being made to interact with other autistic people growing up because "they're like you! you'll get along!" and not actually getting along with them didn't help either. You just have to remind yourself that it is a spectrum, some people with it are okay and others (I'd say most tbh) are insufferable, that's just how it is.
It creeps me out when dancers (especially idols) are extremely synchronized.
Replies: >>671
I do nothing with my life literally nothing ever happens. I haven’t been showering for like 5 days on average recently, I’ll shower now I guess
Replies: >>796
>>612
What if they were just off by a little bit
Replies: >>809
i have been getting into reading horror stories lately, but i don't have any friends who are into horror, so sometimes i just retell the stories to myself as if i'm telling someone else and then monologue about my theories alone in my room
Replies: >>735
>>733
What kind of horror stories nona? I honestly really want to re-read all of the scary stories to tell in the dark, it's so nostalgic kek
Replies: >>753
>>735
I found out about The Magnus Archives recently and have been listening to some stories every night. I tried it during the day, but eh... doesn't have the same punch, you know?
The stories are pretty bite-sized, only 20-30min each, and I listen to 2 or 3 before bed. I like this sort of... "gentle" horror, so to speak. Very few of the stories are about an actual monster out to kill people, it's usually a strange phenomenon, or stuff that could kill you and the person telling the story survived by dumb luck or something like that. I suppose you could say it's somewhat similar to the stuff lovecraft wrote? People are afraid not because they find something dangerous, but because they have no idea whether what they found is dangerous or not, they can barely comprehend it. "Am I in danger? Am I not? I have no clue." I like these stories because they don't rely purely in a sense of fear, but rather the discomfort of lack of information, you dont know how you're supposed to react to this bizarre thing.
I think that's why I like it better than the typical slasher horror. If there is a crazy serial killer or murderous aberration out to get me, I know it wants to kill me and I can react accordingly. Hell, I can even plan fighting back. But a booklet written in an unknown language that gives me vertigo when I try to read it and makes the laws of physics behave strangely in its presence and always finds its way back inside my pocket no matter if I throw it away in a river or burn it? The fuck am I supposed to do about that? Should I even do something about it?
Anyway the lore here is that there is this institute that takes statement from people's experiences with the paranormal, and run some investigations on it, maybe try to solve stuff. Imagine something like the SCP foundation, but with the budget of a lemonade stand. The stories are stuff the new head archivist records while organizing the mess that's the archives of the institute. It is granted that the people survive whatever shit happened to them (at least long enough to give a statement), but it is unsettling regardless. I like the 2nd episode, where the guy accidentally avoids certain death by being stoic to an almost comical degree.
Replies: >>754
>>753
Ooh thank you for the synopsis nona! I heard of The Magnus Archives in the past and tried to watch a youtube summary but I fell asleep and literally did not remember a single detail kek. I also like those kinds of horrors and it's definitely easier to convey that sort of fear and existential-ness in a written format. I might finally try to redo TMA kek
Replies: >>766
>>754
>tried to watch a youtube summary
What, like someone going over what happens? Seems like the worst possible way to go through a horror series, seriously. Also sounds about as enjoyable as listening to someone ramble about WH40K lore.
>it's definitely easier to convey that sort of fear and existential-ness in a written format
Yes, some weird stuff couldn't even be conveyed in any other way. My favorite story from Lovecraft is The Color Out Of Space, and the main point of the story is this meteor thing that has a color outside the visible spectrum. When people look at it they see a color that by all means should not be visible. That story could only ever be told in text because we can conceptualize a color that doesn't exist, but obviously visualizing it is impossible. I heard it has a movie adaptation, but I never bothered to look it up.
>I might finally try to redo TMA kek
At least try to listen to it normally this time. I'm still on EP 14, and so far there has only been the faintest hint of an overarching narrative, all the stories have been self-contained. I don't even know what a summary would say other than poor retellings of each individual story. That's probably why you checked out.
Replies: >>768 >>771
>>766
I planned on doing it normally but iirc the video I watched was more of an introduction without spoilers, I was curious what it was since I saw it being posted everywhere. I'll definitely try doing it normally soon
Replies: >>770
>>768
alright, let me know what you think, i have been wanting someone to talk about it
>>766
>I heard it has a movie adaptation, but I never bothered to look it up.
Since you like the original you should probably never watch it unless you like Nick Cage as equally
>>615
>I do nothing with my life literally nothing ever happens.
That's just cause and effect, sister. Nothing happens without a cause.
>I haven’t been showering for like 5 days on average recently
Sounds like the late stages of depression, I'm sorry to hear that.
I haven't been doing too great lately either. I had been losing weight for the past several weeks, which is great, but since I learned to make cookies I have regained 2kg. To be fair, being able to bake them on demand is too fucking awesome to pass up, and I have zero self-control when it comes to sweets, I seriously can't have them anywhere on the house. And to top it all off, I have been slacking off with my exercises, so yea I need to get my shit together.
Replies: >>801 >>802
>>796
AYRT and I know but I’m so cozy being holed up. I’m back into studying again soon and will probably make the shift easily but I worry if I keep up these bad habits I’ll be terribly insecure by the time I need to be out and socialising again. I’ll manage because I don’t want to look like a ghoul, but god is my bed and lurking online comfy. I also lost some weight at the start of this year due to an illness but its bounced back quickly. Don’t deprive yourself of treats, our weights are constantly fluctuating and those cookies sound bomb
Replies: >>840
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>>796
My advice might not be the best because I am telling you to make more food but maybe you could try substituting the biscuits you make now with anzac biscuits? They're full of fibre so will keep you feeling fuller for longer than a normal cookie, picrel is the recipe I use minus maple syurp, and coconut isn't really necessary either. I'm really bad when it comes to biscuits but I can never eat more than two of these at a time and I generally won't eat any more for the rest of the day.
Replies: >>805 >>840
>>802
NTA but I’m an ausfag and ANZAC cookies are amazing, they seem pretty underrated outside of aus. I urge every nona who hasn’t tried to try them!!
Replies: >>807
>>805
AYRT, also an ausfag there seems to be a disproportionate amount of us here but I guess that fits with the seafaring theme kek, and yeah they're genuinely amazing especially with a bit of tea. They're a bit different from a normal oat biscuit, the best anzac biscuits are more crisp.
Replies: >>808
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>>807
Kek I thought so, you’re doing the lords work by sharing ANZAC biscuits with the world. Australian mutiny when? We are the prison island after all
Now I’m craving one, and you’re so right with dipping it into tea. I’m a weirdo with biscuits/cookies and making them get super soggy
Replies: >>846 >>851
>>671
then it would be fine, it's the perfect sync with no difference that creeps me out, the coordinated outfits also makes it creepier.
>>801
>I’m so cozy being holed up.
That's the source of the struggle, isn't it? Being a goblin is the best, sometimes I miss it.
>Don’t deprive yourself of treats
I have been eating like 6 every day all week.
>those cookies sound bomb
They are, and that's exactly the problem.

>>802
Thanks for the recipe, nona. I'll give it a try in a few days, I already indulged too much this week.
>>808
That picture represents probably the most functional governance structure straya would ever have. lemme guess ACT is the protective custody unit
Replies: >>852
>>808
Poor Tas left out
>>846
Going to a very cool exhibition today but I feel tired and lazy and will probably be lame. I have to go because I promised and I'm sure I'll end up enjoying it but i'm lazy -_-
>>846
>lemme guess ACT is the protective custody unit
KEKK
Replies: >>860
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>>852
samefag and i really enjoyed it! it had an entire costume designed by gucci for one of bjorks mvs, miniature cities made by weta for bladerunner 2049(picrel) and various other cool things. 
it was a sci-fi/futuristic exhib but there was a lot of focus on indigenous people which struck me as odd, what do indigenous people have to do with the future? not trying to race bait or anything but it just felt so shoehorned in and made me roll my eyes a little. you would walk from a room with a bunch of sci-fi stuff into another two rooms dedicated to the struggles of indigenous people all around the world. there were some cool reimaginings and art of indigenous people adapting to futuristic settings but aside from those there was literally no connection. am i an asshole?
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My future feels incredibly dim, I have to keep going though.
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I love the staff here. I went to other nonporn boards to see what the culture was like and the staff are very friendly and active. It kind of hurts, seeing decent staff on an image board for once. Wish it wasn't mainly for porn
Replies: >>881
>>880
same here nona, i was scrolling around and despite the users being porn-rotted the admins and community are way more akin to what i want LC to look like
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>>883
>to your shelter thread
Replies: >>887 >>888
>>885
that anon is a moid tourist from another board
>>885
Come on anon, that's jeff.
>>889
are you a woman?
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>>894
captmin we got one! make him walk the plank!
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Our first stowaway, thrown to the sharks KEK
Replies: >>906
>>898
Terrible luck having men onboard, I've heard. It's best not to risk it.
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>Storm causing everything to shut down, even wifi
>Have been sitting in the dark for nearly 6+ hours because it gets dark in the afternoon
>Can’t go outside because of storm
>Repairmen were supposed to fix the electricity an hour ago
>Can’t turn in any assignments, can’t work, can’t see anything except my phone so I’ve been laying in bed for hours
>My phone is less than 10%
>Need to turn in several papers for uni by 11:59 am
>Can’t even go to sleep because I typically sleep at 1 AM

It’s going to be a long night.
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I don't want to admit that they're vectorized butches making out because I'm not a fujo no shame to them but I just like hot butches
Replies: >>1247
>>1242
KEKK at least you got praise. we'll make sure there's more lesbo representation in the future my love
               へ  ♡        ╱|-`♡´- 
         ૮  >  <)       ̤̮   (˚ˎ 。7  ִ ࣪𖤐
          /  ⁻  ៸|             |、˜〵                                                                          
     乀(ˍ, ل ل            じしˍ,)ノ⁠♡
Replies: >>1254
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>>1247
us right now
taking a course for healthcare and that statement about mean girls always taking professions related to healthcare screams true in my experience. a couple weeks into starting the course, a girl tried to butter her way with the classmates, immediately airing out her dirty laundry about previous employers and made a snarky remark about how "our professor and my ex-manager would get along". 
I also presume shes one of the people who organized a letter to the college supervisor regarding the professor's poor teaching instead of telling both the professor directly about it or asking permission from the class to even speak for us in this letter (a majority of the class wasnt even aware a complaint was being made nor had access to the class groupchat), all of which these behaviors are taught *NOT* to do during client courtesy lessons. 
its honestly scary to see people learn absolutely nothing from the classes they pay money to attend and will likely reflect these behaviours in the workplace where people are at their most vulnerable.
normie young women are fucking terrifying
I went out drinking yesterday and ended up adopting some french scrote I guess. Didn’t sleep and just wandered around with him and then left him in the dust, au revoir! My feet hurt so bad and I was meant to go to classes today but NO
i actually like chapell roans music. however i think it’s really funny one of my opps has latched on to her because she is a more exaggerated version of chappells ugly features (huge crooked hook nose, egg head with massive forehead and crazy hair line). and i know my opp frequents celebricows. so reading through the posts from two days ago seeing people insult chappell the exact way i insult her… my sides.
Replies: >>1697
>>1626
what is "opp"?
Replies: >>1698
>>1697
Black/zoomer slang, means opponent/opposition (basically anyone that you don't like).
I don't actually like pirates. Sky pirates, maybe. Space pirates, maybe. But definitely not old fashioned sea pirates.
Replies: >>1779
>>1770
Why nonnie, what about them is unappealing to you? I’ve never been particularly interested in them but I find the aesthetic fun when watching/playing pirate themed stuff
Replies: >>3380
Don't like period pieces, don't like criminals, don't like drunkards, don't like boats.
I pretended to be sick so my teachers would be lenient with me not turning in work when in reality I was just burnt out. I do a very convincing cough.
Replies: >>2568
>>2022
this is based actually and I support you, nonita.
Honestly... I think Cece is fucking ugly. And this is coming from someone who was one of the first fanart posters in CC. I tried to like it, but I just can't.
>>1779
Nta but for me, the idea of cartoon or fictional pirates is alright. When you think about the implications of real life pirates and other ship sailing crews of the past and present, things become more complicated. Same with cowboys, ninjas, samurai, and other types of adventurers.
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I wanted hot chocolate but didn't have the coco powder and was too lazy to go to the store so I just melted some Nutella in hot water and added milk
Replies: >>3518 >>4020
>>3458
... was it good?
Replies: >>3530
fuck guys, i know i'll probably get crucified for this, but i'm THIS close to writing null a love letter. sometimes i'll be browsing kf and i'll see a very reasonable take from him calling out shitty online behavior (like pedo pandering from vtubers, how needlessly aggressive men can be towards women, etc), sometimes while being the odd one out, and i just really appreciate how he stands his ground and how eloquently he states his arguments. makes me doki. someone get their shotgun please.
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>>3520
>i'm THIS close to writing null a love letter
is this bait? Is this extremely advanced bait? it has to be. Holy shit I can barely even comprehend reading this post. I'm putting myself into a psych ward from this post alone.
Replies: >>3525
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>>3523
>null giving you a reassuring squeeze while you browse lc together
can you even imagine it?
Replies: >>3536 >>3543
My confession is that I went into this thread and experinced a horrible vomit hiccup when reading Null-anon's post, I think it has more to do with brushing my teeth and chugging down cold black coffee immediately after but god, poor comedic timing.
>>3520
I can kind of understand why you feel that way but it's Null nona.
>>3518
It was delicious. So good I did it again
>>3520
screenshots or didn't happen
Replies: >>3543
>>3525
I'm kekking so hard at this picture
>>3525
This string of replies made me laugh so hard it became a coughing fit. Null-chan you nearly killed me and I'm suing
>>3534
Agreed, you must write the letter and submit it to us so we can form a um complete verdict on this confession nonnie.
>>3520
Anon I like Null too (not that way), but you must remind yourself this is a terminally online guy that has a feeder fetish, he has spent the last 10 years online and with his website, he would not be a good romantic prospect. He's already dating his website. Also he lived in outside of his country for over 10 years and only knows 1 language? C'mon nonna, you can do better.
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I don't really like dresses with pockets, especially if they're made out of a stretch material. I feel like they just mess with the line of the dress, and if you ever put anything in the pockets of a stretch fabric dress you're distorting it so badly. I don't see what the issue is with just carrying a little bag for the little stuff that fits in those tiny pockets anyway. Whenever another woman says "ohhh your dress has pockets!" it just annoys me. Don't most dresses have pockets these days?
>>3520
Null can be cringe but it cracks me up whenever he's like "if you guys wanna save the white race you have to have sex with white women" and all the racisterinos gasp and hiss, that's their worst nightmare, they all want to hump each other.
>>3520
Elaine's hands typed this (jk)
I have a very shameful past but I'm not the person I used to be.
>>3520
>sometimes i'll be browsing kf and i'll see a very reasonable take from him calling out shitty online behavior (like pedo pandering from vtubers, how needlessly aggressive men can be towards women, etc)
>thinking null legitimately believes these takes
nona this is the same guy who jerked off to shota catboys and wrote graphic alogging descriptions about his mom. don't fall these tricks
Replies: >>3602
>>3520
Null is obese and has a broken dick and I would not have sex with him, but honestly I appreciate his turbo autism into keeping KF online and his effort to keep the girly places in KF female centric
intentionally ruined chances of a pick me getting with the man she was obsessed with in a way that exposed how crazy and creepy she was and ended their friendship entirely. it made her go away from our friend group so no regrets.
>>3585
Whoah did he really? Is this in an ED article or something?
Replies: >>3603
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>>3602
Apparently he was a teenager at the time
Replies: >>3613 >>3615
>>3603
least psychotic moid
>>3603
>I was really mad that day.
Understandable. Officer, release this man.
I use this imageboard solely because I'm a cuckqueen, complaining about lc is just an extra
Replies: >>3860 >>3869
>>3859
now THAT is a confession
>>3859
I support you.
>>3458
I did it again :chiyozen:
Replies: >>4045
>>4020
How do you melt the nutella? I can't really imagine the concoction to be anything else but chunks of nutella floating in hot milk.
Replies: >>4057
>>4045
I put the Nutella in a mug then boil water in my electric kettle. I pour just enough hot water to cover the Nutella, then I stir it quickly until it turns to liquid. I pour the warm milk in and it's done!
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I like skinny jeans. I didn't know they were considered millennial clothing til some nonny said that she's happy skinny jeans wearers get laughed at now. I will probably keep wearing them
Replies: >>4111 >>4254
>>4110
I like them too. They’re like the only pants that make me look slim as a kibbe romantic. I don’t wear pants a lot, but a high waisted skinny with a tucked in blouse actually works.
sometimes our deepest hate is for the things we cannot change about ourselves. i would skin myself if i could just to rid myself of your touch. i regret ever meeting you.
everyone who has abused me bullied me or harmed me has ended up karmically fucked. it kind of feels good when someone really bad crosses my path and without lifting a finger i watch a karma piano fall on their head.
Replies: >>4247
>>4246
The same also happened to people who messed with me. And to people who were good to me. I think everyone just gets fucked in equal measure regardless of their actions.
>>4110
I like them too! I wear combat boots often so they're always my go to since any other cut is either going to bunch weirdly or completely cover my boots
I realized me and this girl's music taste couldn't even be any more different. I hope the other girl I'm talking to actually responds so we can hook up....
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Thought I was explaining basic algebra to a random younger teen only to find out it was a 30 year old dude :chiyopuke:
suddenly i felt an urge to hug my laptop
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I did something my boyfriend doesn't know about. It ended up going badly, and I wish I could vent to him but I can't because it's face-creasingly cringe. This sucks. Having a secret and my own silly little hobby was so sweet up until this happened.
Replies: >>4369
>>4368
What did you do? CONFESS!!!
Replies: >>4374
>>4369
I got into writing darkfic, but I'm pretty sure some aspect of a story I posted was something an author I really liked was planning to use. I don't have any definitive proof, but reading through the chapters of her story and the comments again, it definitely seemed to be building up to that. She ended up scrapping the concept entirely and ending hers.
I feel so dumb and guilty, but I can't fucking do anything about it. I didn't mean to cuck her out of anything, it was just an idea I'd rarely seen done that I was super excited about. I didn't consider how me posting it would look if she had gone with that angle and posted something similar after. It feels like the silliest thing in the world, but it's still eating at me.
Replies: >>4375
>>4374
She backed out, she can’t complain that you did what she couldn’t. I mean, fic kinda begets fic, you know? I’d find it pretty normal.
Replies: >>4395
>>4375
You're right, nonna. I'm definitely not the first or last person, I'm sure she'll write other stuff too and I'll do the same.
Replies: >>4430
>>4395
< I support your endeavors completely. Have fun!!
A tranny I use to be friends with online before I peaked posted a picture of himself on lolcow. Not in a tranny thread, somewhere unrelated. It's been years since we spoke and I couldn't even report the image because the report would basically be
>trust me bro
Replies: >>4554
>>4553
was he not clockable from the picture alone? i feel like if you reported him for being a tranny and he looked like one, the mods would probably be inclined to believe you. why would he even post himself onto lc in the first place lol
Replies: >>4557
>>4554
The photo was heavily edited and filtered, which made it ambiguous enough that the mods would just think I'm schizo. I'm sure he's already been banned for something else, his edited pictures might not clock him but his personality will
Replies: >>4565
>>4557
fair fair. how come he was posting his face to lc though?
Replies: >>4597
1) watching incels desperately try to insist women have all the power and yet still writhe on the ground over us not fucking us as they scream we are oppressing them makes me laugh. “like you’re killling ussssss… have sex with us nowww.. you have all the power but your body our choice…” i fucking love the male loneliness epidemic. and i hope men angry to see women shining through their oppression who have nothing to blame their failures on keep being so retarded. they have all the privilege and want all the oppression and god i hope they all kill themselves over it while the women they’ve tortured over centuries are now forged like iron and continuing to be stronger smarter and better than them in every way. every time i see some man try to claim some cis woman has privilege over them in every way i just die laughing inside. we don’t, we just aren’t pathetic like you and won anyways. meanwhile you who had everything handed to you and have no excuse have to pretend society is opposite world to cope. why would that make ME unhappy? it’s also so useful that scrotes will develop these beliefs and they’ll repel women further like yasss sort yourselves for me so i don’t even have to talk to you!
Replies: >>4581
>>4579
and 2) i am secretly aware that one of my exes friends was in love with him and hated my guts and wanted to be me. not because i’m great literally because i just got to live the life he wanted to. skinwalks an old version of me to this day - again not cos i was a style icon, it’s even weird to be as outdated as he is at this point. because that’s what he thinks my ex wants and even though they aren’t even friends anymore because how could a friendship survive someone being so weird to his friends gfs like not just hating them but openly trying to take their spot in public. this does not offend me. this makes me die laughing. sorry you couldn’t conversion therapy your own friend into wanting you and acted so creepy i felt bad for a man for a second. i know if i saw him in public and did an up and down and said nothing it would be enough to ruin his life and it’s funnier that i have literally never acknowledged it. that is the worst thing i could have done to him. he prepared himself for the skin walking accusations so he could have an excuse to fight with me finally and they never came i just continue to not acknowledge his existence. once men develop any sort of jealousy towards women in any way it’s so pathetically and openly over for them every single time. i hope he never stops because i think it’s funny his resentment of me when i did nothing ruined his life his relationship with his ex gf and his entire friend group. karma!!
>>4565
He used it as a reaction image to something along with his own reply. It was clearly a selfpost too. Self centered
[Parley with yer hearties]
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