/yohoho/ - Piracy

>Be a salty sailor
>Spot a wedding guest, and I've a tale to tell
>I hail him to hear of me voyage
>Me ship sailed south
>An albatross, a majestic bird, followed 
>The crew loved it, a good omen
>But I, in me foolishness, took a shot, and the bird did fall
>Me hearties, they cursed, for I be retarded
>The wind, she died, and the ship stood still
>Thirst gripped us all
>Me mates made me wear the albatross on me neck for me folly
>A ghostly ship appeared o'er the horizon 
>Life-in-Death and Death aboard, rolling dice for our souls
>Not cool
>Me crew perished, one by one
>The sea she sparkled, a sight to behold
>Me heart softened and I regretted shooting that bird
>The albatross about me neck fell into the sea
>A storm arose and rescued me, curse broken
>Now I wander to spread me tale
>The wedding guest is late now kek
>Don't shoot random birds

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>be me
>Fall asleep at 9, wake up at 4
>This sucks
>Try to stay up till 10 to wake up at 5
>Wake up at 3 instead
>Why

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>wait for an important meeting me quartermaster and I have organized a month in advance
>quartermaster is late
>quartermaster can't do shit for my finances, tells me to appeal to naval gaurds
>mfw
Should I send this landlubber overboard? A part o me wants to walk the plank myself.

>>3437
>tfw you and your quartermaster hold hands and walk the plank together

>>3431
Did you know this picmix was made by a farmer or is it just a coincidence?

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>>3498
>be me
>pick random picmix to spice up the thread
>it's a picmix a farmer made
>mfw

Greentext of a repressed high school memory
>Be me, learning how to drive
>Need to go to driving school
>My road instructor is this guy with a turban that looks like a giant worm on his head
>Apparently he's a reggae musician, on the down low he teaches driving for some reason
>Inside my head I refer to him as 'The Wizard'
>Get inside the practice car, it's dirty as fuck
>like chip bags, mcdonalds burger boxes, soda cans
>wtf
>while driving I said a story calling a guy a fag during class, he laughs and he offers to get me a soda
>nice
>We stop by a gas station in another city, he gets a slurpee
>his sister calls, he picks up and his sister needs advice in her relationship
>he asks me for advice, I said maybe they should talk, he complains that my generation needs more action
>he complains about his two girlfriends, one in new york, and another in california. He hopes they don't meet each other
>Horrible at being a genuine instructor and giving pointers by the way
>day is over, be super relieved. Need to do it one more time next week with another instructor
>next week
>the fucking wizard went out of his way to book me so I could drive with him