>>6064
I was funposting in what's developed into a containment thread for playing games with the other anons, it's caught me a little off guard with the effortpostings. I'm thrilled with this post...
>What I read in her post is a woman looking for specific advice on how to tell if she's fucked up and providing context for why she fears that...
I give structure to fear. That's all I know I can do to help. Let's say the fear is not the root cause of the problem, you've got a spouse that beats you or a casino keeps taking your money or whatever it is. The fear includes looking into an array of overwhelming information, this nebulous miasma and you're left not knowing in which direction to walk. Sometimes it's your marriage that's on the line, or your finances or something else. But if you can study human behavior, and I mean really study it, then you can make the way in and out visible. Not necessarily every thought or feeling has a name for itself or a reason for being in there, but you can fashion a lens which makes visible for them a doorway. Just having a bit of structure in there will leave this fear of the unknown slain, and if that happens, then the problems themselves tend to get left behind along with this fear.
This is why my angle of attack is the way that it is, because old Audrey across the street you can talk to and she can give advice but that therapy is in the talking itself, insofar as talking things out is therapeutic. But what you won't get is here is the problem => here is the solution, the way a medic solving a problem should do these things. It's the difference between therapy where you pay $80 an hour vs $500 an hour. Sometimes even for the higher price there's not any distinction. It is not like a faucet in that respect. You can go in there with a wrench and your own DIY skills but it's not as clear as some plumbers tape or a new gasket... Anything that won't manifest as instinctually obvious, burdens the need to go study.
>A more realistic workaround would be to soften your tone.
I see what you're saying. I was going to say that 20 other people, presuming they have friends to go to, will be talking to them in that tone with broadly good intentions mind, but you will be #21 if you aren't directly cutting through. But this isn't necessarily true. I think women are more inclined to listen as well as to talk. With a man I'd be very direct. I need seriousness out of them when I'm talking about something important before their attention drifts to something else.
I've also tried softness on women before and got nowhere, and then tried hardness and still got nowhere. The stubbornness is something I'm used to having to fight, honestly.
You're the first person who's made it obvious to me in reading between the lines why I need to learn feminine delivery with a positive reason for doing that. I was just thinking they've been socially conditioned to only take feminine delivery. It made me mad. I'm a man. I talk like one. I don't want to have to bend to societal conditioning where only a feminine approach will do. Leave me alone.